Gender Inequality: Sex

According to our textbook Social Problems, by James B. Coleman, “They [women] are taught from childhood that beauty and sex appeal are the keys to happiness. Success comes not from their own efforts but from the ability to appeal to the “right man.”” (256) Just Google images of the popular women’s magazine Cosmopolitan, sex appears on every cover and usually multiple times. The monthly magazines are filled with sexy tips and tricks to get the guy. In society, however, women are taught to hide their sexual desires. A little Ludacris anyone, “We want a lady in the street, but a freak in the bed”?

Author of Schoolgirls, Peggy Orenstein, examines

how middle school girls are socialized specifically to sexuality, “As they mature, then, the question they begin to ask themselves in not whether they desire (a notion they quickly suppress) but whether or not someone would desire them. The idea, as articulated in the time capsules, is to look sexy, but say “no”; to be feminine, but not sexual; to attract boys’ desire, but never to respond to one’s own.” (63) The whole concept is confusing with an easily crossed line. Part of the reason is boys are taught the exact opposite. Males are glorified for higher numbers of hook ups than female. Just think of all the names used to describe someone who is promiscuous: hoe, slut, whore are usually always used to describe women. Therefore, a woman’s reputation is more easily ruined than a man’s making it important for women to know the “balance” between showing desires and being desired. Orenstein continues, “When being desirable supplants desiring, sexual activity takes on a frightening dimension: it becomes an attempt to confirm one’s self-worth, one’s lovability, through someone else.” (63)

The suppression of women’s sexuality is not the only dimension; on the complete opposite end is the hyper sexuality expressed through sources like Playboy. Some would say that women being able to pose nude or barely there clothing is a sign of equality, but others say that it just increases victimization of females. Many people are fixed in their ways about female sexuality. Some think it will never change. Is gender equality in sex possible? I don’t think we will even become close to knowing until women are consistently taught from a young age that sex is natural, and men are reprimanded for outlandish sexual behavior and the victimization of women.

Cosmo Magazine

Peggy Orenstein Website